Left it all

Soundtrack:
"the Funeral" - Band of horses, "The story" - Brandi Carlile, "Protege moi" - Placebo, "Somewhere over the rainbow" - Israel Kamakawiwo.



Spinnin’, turnin’, rushing flowing.
The thoughts and the emotions are running aroud in my body like they always does when your life’s put upside-down.
I’m leaving.

This blog is dedicated to all those people I’ve left behind during this last year.
To all of you which I consider as friends and will forever keep that place in my heart.
This blog is written in short parties during the train and boat-trips which is taking me back from the dream.
This blog is likewise insinuated by the love of my life, the only person who’s ever been able to feel whole as a person, to really feel like me. Alda, I love you!

15.32 Lyon-Paris.
Overcharged with both stuffs and emotions.
The longboard’s carrying some of the luggage, but I don’t get that help with my emotions and my memories. It’s been 9months and 27 days since I landed at Lyon St. Exupery. My first memory of France is me sitting in the car, small-talking(well, at least trying to) with my host-mom about the French traffic system… Really interesting subject, I know!
To be frank, my memories from the first half-year are not many.
Memory flashes of a tall blond Swedish sitting on the grass during brake. Lost in the world of music, drawing and wishing that he had someone to talk to who understood him. Ok, I maybe wasn’t the most social person in the beginning, but hey! What can you expect from someone who’s newly arrived in a new country and who can’t really speak the language properly?

17.49 Paris Nord – Koeln (just leaving Pais)
Sitting on the second train on this trip.
Fuck! My left headphone just broke down… well it did it somewhere in-between Gare de Lyon and Gare du Nord… fucking Paris…
Last weekend on the autumn holidays. Paris with the other sweeeeeeds!
I’ll never forget our first meeting Fredrik! I was standing talking to your friend when you came around the corner on the hotel where we where staying. You had that this completely lost expression on your face. All of you just screamt relaxed! D’you remember the “lunch” we had at the “Italian” restaurant together with your friend (me and names u know…)? That was a nice beer in good Swedish company. Everything followed up by the strange visit on that gay-bar with that freak- bartender and then the following night with Absinth, French policemen’s searching for drugs and that gothic bar… And I’ll never forget your face when you realized that you where late for the train! AH… The good ol’ days!!

Other memory…

Kevin! Je ne sais pas si tu lis mon blog ou pas… probablemment pas, je m’en fou! Je t’ecris commême.
Tu peut jamais t’immaginer a quell point que j’ettais hereus quand tu me disait: « moi aussi je suis nouveau ici, je pense que ca pourrait être bien si nous reste ensemble » ...ou quellque chose comme ca... biensur, ca m’a pris une bonne moment avant que j’avait compris qu’est ce-que tu voullait dire, c’etait la troisiême semaine, ou quellque chose comme ca, mais apres ca c’etait toi et moi!
Le meilleure de tout etait, biensur, les apresmidis de pâte où on regardait Newport beach et Fight Club.
Ne t’inquete pas, je dessendrais a Tours un de ses jours pour te rendre un vissit !

Going on in the mind-trip...

To all of the other foreigners.
I could write a page to each one of you, but it’d take to much time, so I just dedicate this to you:
It took me a month to realize that I wasn’t the only foreigner at school.
And when I finally realized that we where over 10(!) at school, it took me yet another one or two months to start hanging out with you guys. It’s much thanks to Kevin actually. If it hadn’t been for that geology school-trip with Kevin I think that I hadn’t get to know you at all.
I don’t regret a bit hanging out with you instead of the French. Yeah sure, my French might not be as good as it could have been, but hey! Most of the frenchmens aren’t half as nice as you guys! We definitely need to do something next summer!

Interlude: Sms from Alda. Reminds me that I’m really leaving a life behind me. My life. Some parts I’m not gonna miss, but then again, some parts I’ll probably never get over!

Continuation;
Where were we… Yeah! Thanks to all of you foreigners, I’ve not only discovered France, but the world to!
…and if I hadn’t start hanging out with you, Alda and I might not been together today!J (thanks Ina for the best party in my life!)

19.12 Paris Nord – Bruxels
Hmmm… yeah, mom was right; travelling by train helps me se how far I’ve really been.
I like travelling by train, and airplane to of course! But by train you get a more close look on the distance you’re actually traversing. Like now, sitting on a train in Bruxels, just watching the people walking by outside, they’re not that different from those I’ve met in France or in Sweden, except for the language of course. Although, the most interesting people are those who’s standing here with their train-tickets in their hand and the backpack on their back, ready to go anywhere in the world. Hope I’ll be there soon…
Until then I just have to trick myself with small “independent” travels. Like the one me an Alda made down to the Riviera at the end of easter…
5 days of pure happiness . No demands, just us, the beach and loads of places to discover. We crashed at some host-relatives to Aldas’ place. Bernard nad Mariane is really the best hosts one can imagine. Interesting conversations during dinners and discovering Monaco, Nice, Antibes and so on, and so on… And all this in the wonderful company of the most fantastic person in the world, Alda!

20.22 Paris Nord – Koeln (somewhere in between)
Sad. The weather outside has changed to rain and grey skies. My mood has changed in the same direction. Passing by in a hilly landscape.
This is torture, to have to leave the person I hold closest. Even if it’s “just” for 20 days it hurts as if someone’s stabbing a knife in to my heart. I don’t even want to think about this autumn!!
Oh! Timing, the radio’s just playin “Creep” by Radiohead. Fit’s my mood… (this is said to be the song the most people have committed suicide to in the world…)

29/6 20.55 “Boating”
So it’s been more than 24 hour’s since I left. Left my life and my friends to re-take my life… Don’t really feel I want to. I was happy, I felt as home, not always, but in the end I really did.
Well now I’m sitting on the boat home to my island. 3h of voyage. Even if this is a sad travel. I’ve had fun. Like yesterday: visiting the oldest sf-store in the world, in Kopenhague(!)
Then on my fathers suggestion me, him and my brother took a 2 1/2h trip to Germany to buy cheep alcohol… Yes! The alcohol in SWE is expensive. Didn’t manage to buy for me though… C pa Grave!
T-day we went to Sweden, home(?).
We went to Sweden and to a Viking village to meet my sister and her boyfriend.
Maybe I should eplain about the Viking village. Well, not much to explain really. It’s a re-constructed Viking village with people who’s playing Vikings in it. Like some sort of cosplay or LARP. My sister and CO. play Vikings.
Kinda fun actually, and there are loads of nice hand-made stuffs you can buy there.
(Think you’d like it my love, got some pics I’ll show U)
Well, this trip’s almost over, tomorrow I’ll wake up in my own bed. Ill wake up and all I’ve done this last year will spin-around in my head like newly-dreamt dreams. And even if it just was a dream, it was the best dream I’ve ever dreamt!
Thanks to all of you for making this year the best year in my life. Love y’all!!!

Stay alive, stay in touch!